What is wrong with me????

Started the day late, albeit promises to self last night. Then, spent whole day reading weblogs - when I'm supposed to do my PhD. Then tried to blame the existence of office-mate and empty stomach for failure to do work. When he left and stomach filled, you are STILL not working. And it is 1900hrs already!!!!!!

Maybe I'll start again the morrow =(

Speaking for the Markaz

At the Canterbury city council meeting yesterday - No go for the Markaz. Ada hikmah Insya Allah!

A date with Islam

Gi london- beli phone card (dapat free 1 card) - shopped at China town (met chinese Malaysian lady buying petai (husband dia omputih pun makan petai )- makan kat MAKAN (next time I will ask just for half of the rice..terover kenyang.. but Alhamdulillah!)- jumpa Muslim Heritage centre ('cool' place) - gi Westminster business school - listened to Daud Mathews, Moez and Mecca2Medina- caught the 9:04 train- home.

Someone complimented my supervisor... sejuk dengar!!

Me, a SNOB..

A man told me off for being a snob today. Hmm.. there's always a first!

Was at NETTO, the kind of supermarket that sells no frills stuff. If a bag of cooking onions in Safeway,say can costs you from 89 to 119pence, in NETTO it will only cost you just a fraction of the price at about 39p. So, low income students and people like me, would be satisfied to do shopping in joints like these. The odd trips to Safeway, would just be dedicated to 'special occasions' shopping.
Anyway, I was just about to put in a one pound coin into the slot of one of trolleys at Netto, when I saw two cans of beer lying in it. Eeeeeeee..no way am I going to remove those cans.. I did what anybody would do ( i guess),- take another trolley from another aisle. There were two men, standing just beside the trolley with the empty cans. He saw my second take and he thought that I didn't know how to pull the trolley out. I simply said that I'm just goin to take another trolley because there are beer cans in the first trolley. And the man just told me.. 'You're a snob'! ..Eehhh...maner ada!!! ...I retaliated and said 'No, I'm not!! Then, he immediately said...'No, you are alrite'. As I pulled the new trolley out, I stopped and told him, 'I'm not a snob, I'm just being lazy'. I think he kinda feel guilty that he uttered some kind words after that.
All in all, even if he was just teasing me, maybe he did mean what he said..to some extend. Ok la, maybe I was being a snob, am a snob, but then again isn't everyone? We are all snobs at one point or another, we just don't realize it- it's just part of human nature. What differentiates one snob to another degree of snobbiness.

The cat's away, the mouse..

Jian's away at Cambridge and I have not been doing much for the day. Monday blues... gear lambat masuk!!

Friends for life

When I look back at my life, at the different phase in life, there are friends that you will remember for the rest of your life. Friends who made a difference at some point or another. Friends who matters..

I still remember:
Kindergarten - err.. no friends (was a dropped out kindergarten kid)
Friends at sekolah rendah laksamana, kota tinggi. - each year my close friends changed..
Darjah 1 hijau (1980)- was close to Siti Zalifah
Darjah 2 biru (1981)
... to be contd


Nneka's visit has made me realize and appreciate the type of friendship that I have with certain people over the years. We were all living 'global' together, there's me, Berenice (Mexican), Ruping(Chinese) and Nneka (Nigerian). Each bringing our own brand and flavour from our home country into that 4 room flat in Victoria Hall. It has been a memorable and great experience each of us, (I know) are grateful for. We had fun, sharing experiences, thoughts, recipes (we even had our own international dinner- me cooking nasi lemak, ruping- cucumber fry & chicken (halal)-tofu soup, berenice-choco cake, and Nneka (special mash potato- not Nigerian but equally delicious). Altho we are now world apart- with Bere just got married on Saturday in Mexico city, Ruping -still enjoying her time in Guangzhou, Nneka working in London and myself in Kent. This I have to say is a truly international friendship.

Getting up..

After subuh today, I snuggled myself back into bed. It has been two nights in a row that I have returned home late from the office. Penat tak terkira..felt like the whole body aches...still does. But when the thought of my unfinished abstract of the RSC conference, my stepwise regression that till now cannot be regressed, the need to get to the bottom of why my stepwise regrression will not regress, my meeting with Phil that has not been set up yet, preparing for meeting with Phil... makes me get out of bed and go the deparment this morning.

*-------------

We had the sisters circle just now. It was about hukm and shariah. Samia mentioned about how a muslim's person thinking is different from a non-muslim's. Every person's action is usually based or dictate by something or other. For example, some people do things out of wealth, or if he/she things sees that it could benefit them. More or less most of the actions are dictated by the capatalism drive. People do something only if he or she thinks that there is something in it for them, be it money, recognition, returned kindness etc. This is human nature. It is rare that people do things out of sheer wimp. Unless that person is totally looney. A muslim has a purpose in life. And that is to serve Allah. How? By obeying what He commands and leaving what He forbids. As a muslim, every action that he or she does is(should) be based on a reference point only and that is Islam, even to the simple things in life like brushing your teeth....to be contd

Rubbish

The universities that I attended before have all been the 'spread out' type. The buildings are not centralized, ie. not campus like style. My current one is. I had to sort of adjust to the campus style during my first few months here. Unlike my previous alma-maters, this one has lots of greens. You can find all sorts of shrubberies in every corner, where you will find yourself occasionally playing peek-a-boo with the rabbits and the birdies. What irks me this morning, while walking through campus towards the department, was to find empty bottles and empty packets of crisps among the bushes and even branches of some trees. If it is just the odd 1 or 2 is fine. But I can find them along my walk from one end of the campus to the other! I am not an enviromentalist but I feel strongly against people who do not care of how their actions might affect other people or other living things in an obvious way. It is quite shameful really that you can find attitudes like these in the people of the so-called developed country.

Restless day

Sometimes when things do not seem to be going your way, you tend to turn to Him even more. In a way, it makes us a better person. Maybe it is a way for God to jolt us back to the right path. When you feel like giving up, you know that you cannot. A Muslim is a fighter and life is one long series of misscellaneous tests. By the mercy of Allah, you just have to get up and fight back... and pray that you become stronger to face another day.

Why blog

Why I'm starting this blog:.. david has caught me talking to myself (aloud) lately...



10 March 04
How I love my nephews to bits
Idzni underwent cochlea implant this morning. Called everybody..but no one answered. My imaginative mind started to run riot, thinking of all sorts of unimaginative things. Finally, got hold of Along. Alhamduillah Idzni is fine. The phone line was bad. Hung up and called Mak instead. Idzni has started vomiting. Abah said that this is normal when you’ve just had anaesthetics. Mak said they cut baby Idzni up about 5 cm (i.e. 2 inches). Poor baby!!! Based on Mak’s report, me guessing that Idzni will be up and about in no time. He has already managed to pull off the bandages on his head ..typical Idzni!
Abang Ayin pulak hari ni seems to want to talk to me longer than usual. When I wanted to put the phone down, he said ‘Aunty Ngah nak pergi mana?’ Gave him a kiss to be send to Idzni.


*c


5 February 04
About being mad
I rarely get mad at people. But when I do, it is mainly due to people getting mad at me for the wrong reasons. I may not be making any sense here.

Whenever I am in a situation, I normally blame myself first. Perhaps this is not a good idea since it can be damaging to my self-esteem (it often has). However, I can’t seem to understand how some people often think that they are always right…people who cannot accept that they are wrong..people who think that they are infallible.

Today, somebody was mad at me. The person looked pissed off. I will not justify myself on why I think I am right and why I think that the person is wrong. I can blame myself if I have spoken too softly, Perhaps next time whenever I want to say something, it has to be loud and clear. But I won’t blame myself for saying something that the person thought I said for which I am sure I did not (capish?). And if I did say the things that I think I did not, surely I have given a time-period for that. It is just senseless! And while I am at it, about this ‘pissed-off’ look thing. I am not a saint and I don’t claim to be one. However, I personally don’t give out ‘pissed-out’ look to friends. I do claim to give the ‘look’ to family members. Hmmmm… maybe today I have learned something. Be more nicer to your family. After all, they are what we will have left by the end of the day. Be more cautious towards friends. Some friends need to be treaded carefully.